Conquering the Enemies of Relationships

There are relationships that God gives us in our families, neighborhoods, workplaces, and professional and career areas. God-given relationships are meant to enrich, strengthen, and help us, so it’s important to know that there are enemies who will try to separate people from each other. It’s time for all of us to experience the blessing of being in positive relationships with others.

# 1 – Speak Kind Words
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. “Corrupt” means bad, rotten, destructive, foul, or dirty. Let there be no name-calling or negative labeling. Many people have been damaged by being labeled negatively. If a negative, labeling word is spoken about another person
and everyone laughs, it’s not humor, it’s cruelty. Many TV shows are built on cutting other people down. If you listen to that, the spirit of it will get in you. When you speak trash to someone, there is a law of sowing and reaping. You don’t want a hundredfold return on what you are dishing out, if it’s trash talk.

I think we ought to label people with good words. Like pouring water on a flower that is wilted, when you appreciate people, they will begin to blossom and bloom. People will respond to praise and affirmation. What you appreciate will become valuable to you. For a relationship to last, you must see beyond the natural and see the person for what God has called him or her to be.

#2 – Correct a Situation without Destroying an Individual
There is a way to correct without destroying and a way to address a conflict without labeling someone a loser. You can resolve a frustration that you are having in a relationship without going into a rage. It all comes back to Jesus. How did He resolve the conflict between us and God? He took the penalty for us! In managing a company or a corporation, you may have to address issues that deal with bad character, misconduct, and/or poor performance.

You can do it by saying, “This was a wrong action or a wrong response, but you are an important person.” Depending on the severity of their actions, you may be able to offer them another opportunity to correct their wrong and to do what’s right. But even if they are released, it can be done with kindness.

#3 – Get Rid of Hatred and Bitterness
I was reading an account of a young man who shot and killed his girlfriend, and he was sentenced to life in prison without parole. This thought came in my head: One angry moment changed the whole course of his life. As I was thinking about this young man’s situation, up out of my spirit came this word from the Lord: “It didn’t happen in a moment. It took years of programming.” Like a volcano he blew, but a volcano stirs down below the ground for a long time before it ever blows. What happened in this young man? Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking were there. Hatred came and then ultimately, murder. Action with a gun is the long-term effect of all the input into a person’s life. Get rid of bitterness and anger and make the decision, “I am not going to be involved in loud quarreling. I’m going to find a way to relate to people in a controlled, peaceful manner.”

#4 – Forgive and Serve Others
If you have anger toward someone, release it and forgive them. Often in relationships, when people strike out at another person, it’s not that person alone who is the problem. Often it is something that happened years earlier, possibly back in their childhood. Even if the person who offended or hurt you never changes or apologizes, your forgiveness will allow the poison to
get out of your system!

Be on guard against these enemies of relationships.
Speak kind words, correct situations without hurting people, get rid of bitterness and hatred, and forgive and serve others. As you do, you’ll be sowing the seeds of appreciation in others that will come back as a harvest of peace and joy in your life.