Why You Need To Reboot and Upgrade Your Friends to Survive, Succeed and Thrive in Our Changing Times.

I’ll never forget the words my News Director said in January that would change my world forever, “We don’t know if we can renew your contract. It depends on the economy.” What?! I remember being numb. He can’t mean ME?! In my mind, I rationalized a lot of things:

1) I’ve done the 5pm news at KTUL-TV for almost 12 years and have won awards! (Just look… they’re on my mantel!) 2) Most viewers love me! (Those are the only ones I chose to listen to anyway.) 3) I constantly work 20 years of contacts in Oklahoma for EXCLUSIVE stories. (That single word alone usually brings chill bumps to any News Director.) 4) I make more appearances than any other anchor here! (Well, that’s mainly because I can’t say “no,” but it still counts!) 5) I even help mentor our young, green journalists! (Oh God, have I trained MY replacement?!)

But the facts are the facts. Our station had already suffered two massive layoffs and mandatory pay cuts. (TV stations around the country are having a hard time as viewership declines due to news on the internet, hundreds of cable choices, and busy lives plus now advertisers are cutting commercial budgets because of the economy.) So, I could bury my head in the sand and believe my reputation would ensure my job or I could look at the facts and realize my contract was simply expiring at a bad time. The later meant I would somehow have to find the courage for ‘Project: Reinvent Cindy’. Forced to do that at mid life, did I really have that much strength?

After the “what?!” came the “what now?” Did I even know how to do anything else? I was a journalism major and never even had a class in the businesses school during college! Plus, I’d spent 20 years in TV News. I can handle live breaking news on the anchor set with ease and can write the heck out of any story (remember the awards on my mantel?), but ask me to do a business plan (or a simple math problem for that matter) and I break out in a sweat! But, what honestly scared me the most? Breaking out of my comfort zone and taking a huge risk all alone. There is an AT&T commercial where people are walking in a field (a herd of sheep, basically) saying “bah bah bah.” Well, in the commercial, two guys decide to jump the fence and take the better deal with AT&T. I totally identify with that commercial. That was me! I was happy being a sheep, getting my paycheck and staying with the herd. (Bah…!) But, it was my Friends who gently covinced me Corporate America was having lamb chops for dinner and they helped me jump the fence to success. I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t have a strong Friends Support Network, it is time to reboot your 1.0 support system and upgrade by creating 2.0 Friends who can help you can survive anything in our changing times, including a very public layoff.

Here’s my philosophy: you can’t pick your parents, you may or may not have picked a good spouse, but EVERYONE can create a Friends Network that can make you a “10”, get you through hard times and make your quality of life much better.

I have supportive parents, but they live in Texas. My husband is truly the love of my life, but his first thought when he heard about the potential lay off was whether we could still afford his boat and our house. (I don’t blame him because, while highly successful, he picked his career to follow me… that was always “the plan”.) But these days, plans change whether you want them to or not. In the end, it was my 2.0 Friends who picked me up like Humpty Dumpty and put me back together again. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a dang plastic surgeon among them, but I digress. And this support system didn’t just help me, they kept my husband calm (That’s HUGE!) plus they helped my children deal with my tears, fears and life changes. It truly does take a village these days.

So, how do you build that kind of support network?
First you need to dump the Wanna Bes. I believe that becoming a true and trusted Friend is something you learn and earn over time. I know as I get wiser (using the word “older” involves Botox), I learn to be a better mom, wife, worker and Friend. Many times that is because of the influence of my tried and true Friends Network. On the other hand, a bad friend (notice NO capitalization) can be a cancer that can or will at least try to destroy you. So, you need to realize that not all friends are created equal. Choose Friends wisely and dump Suzie Sabotage, Hater Helen, Needy Nancy, Debbie Downer, Competitive Cathy, Gayle Guilt, and others who are emotional vampires. They WILL suck you dry. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit if you can tell your so-called friend is not really a Friend.

Next, look at your Friend Network as your unofficial board of directors.
These are the people who will call a spade a spade, help you build your life of success, pick you up and dust you off if you fall, and will tell you to quit whining when you’re out of control. I have my friends who know all about business and are willing to share because they believe helping others succeed will in turn make them successful. (NOTE: Friendship is NOT a competition!) I have my Friends who I can call for a glass of wine when I’m down or needing a pick-me-up. There are my friends who are my lifesavers when it comes to helping raise my children while I struggle with reinvention. So, take an inventory of who you can lean on, talk to, and trust.

Also don’t overlook networking to help you find even more Friends.
Sometimes we get caught up in the boundries of our town or lives. I know I did! But as I gained confidence, I began to use connections, social media and other networking tools to expand my Friend base. For example, I met a fabulous brander from Detroit through Twitter. He was wanting to know more about branding a journalist and I was trying to find what the heck I was going to brand. Thus, the beginning of a beautiful social media Friendship. We have helped each other tremendously and used our combined Friend Network to grow. Another example? When I learned about the National Speakers Association, I decided to go to a meeting. What a wonderful opportunity to learn from some of the best in the business! I am now able to call any number of successful speakers for advice, answers and mentoring. Your Friends 2.0 are more than your next-door-neighbors, fellow PTA parents and co-workers. To truly survive this economy, you need a diverse Friends Support System that can help you reach new heights.

So, here’s your Friends 2.0 Upgrade list:

*Dump the Wanna Bes and the Emotional Vampires NOW!

*Create a Friends Network that operates almost like a board of directors to keep you successful in every part of your life

*Challenge yourself to expand that Friend Base past your usual comfort zone

With the help of my Friends 2.0, I spent months laying the groundwork and networking to start a new career. They encouraged me to write a book, prepare to hit the national speaking circuit and even start my own business. They shared incredible contacts, branding information and the confidence to do things I (and my family) had never dreamed of 6 months before. And you know what? When I finally learned my contract would, indeed, not be renewed in July, I was not bitter or mad. I was actually relieved. My Friends help me realize all my years at KTUL-TV helped make me part of who I am, and I never would have discovered my true potential if the station hadn’t let me go. My Friends also reminded me the layoff was the perfect ending to my book about building a support network to survive these changing times. Who knew I’d be smiling about that?! Yes, I’m blessed with an incredible family but they were often too close to see the bigger picture.

My Friends made sure my husband and kids weathered this storm, all the while helping me find a strength I never knew I had, talents I’d never tapped, and dreams I can’t wait to conquer. I challenge you to reboot your Friends Network to the 2.0 version so they can help you survive money problems, divorce, layoffs or anything else that may come your way now or in the future.